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Everything posted by sentinels

  1. A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system.....getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ........ you started it."
  2. Making a baby. This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon. Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you. 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there. 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that. 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus he said. 'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with. 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in. Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away. 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long. Mrs. Smith fainted
  3. The Dead Cow and Vet School . First-year students at VPI&SU Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid.
  4. http://cheatingissinful.com/cheerleaders-and-soldiers-call-me-maybe
  5. i would have gone swimming with ya but i think my wife would be between us lol
  6. i was always able to find them in the big name drug stores in the malls. sometimes the chain you get lucky at the places like mercury drug and so on. I also had luck going to the 7 eleven stores in some areas. but i agree the best way is buy them locally and just pack them in your suitcase. if you have the time before your trip i use to buy mine in bulk from this site i liked the fire n ice style for occational added pleasure (so does my current wife, might be why she said yes when i asked her) hehehe CONDOMS AND OTHER FUN STUFF
  7. welcome to posting noew the fun really begins. more access and more fun from participating. as for cherrys site try the link in my post see if that one works for ya to get access
  8. another thing my wife and i talked about was with a fairly large lot if you build a few small duplex houses in the mean time you can rent them out and make money to buy land someplace and build your own house using the income from the rentals. Her sisiter is currently doing this. her sisiter has i think 2 duplex houses now on the original lot she had bought. which is now earning her enoph to pay the loan from the second duplex and for the main house thats being built. in 13 month it will be paid in full from the rentals. just a suggestion if you are not planning to move over right away. plus with the rentals you have steady income each month to offset any retirement/ss income you would be trying to live off of.
  9. wow nice pic. My wife n I stayed home for the new year. about 1030 my wife vanished while i was in the kitchen. come to find out she was in a party mood and went upstairs and got all dressed up. so i said "I SEE HOW YOU ARE" ran up stairs myself and changed. we spent so long doing poses and taking pictures we missed the ball drop lol. hear the comotion on the tv looked and said crap HAPPY NEW YEAR. then opened our red horse (can buy it locally along with sam migel) and it was CHEEEEEEERS. funny part was we were only going to stay up till the ball dropped finally went to bed at 330am after finishing a few beer and using the magic sing.
  10. wow never in 4 years of traveling to n from pi did they ever ask about candy. Usually is you say you have nothing to declare your fine. I was only stopped by customs 1 time they asked what i had told them exactly what i had in the suit cases. they checked 1 bag to verify and waved my by. They even repacked the bag semi decent for me. As a thank you i reopened the bag and handed him one the small stuffed bears and said "HERE GIVE THIS TO YOUR DAUGHTER" he smiles and thankes me.
  11. i always brought american style candies that were seasonal. like for halloween times stuff in shapes of ghosts pumkins etc, christmas the candy canes always went over well, stuffed bears , your going to laugh but if you know her size bra n panty sets, perfumes, and my wife use to love it when i would get scented lotions for her.
  12. the costs will depend on the materials used, the type and amount of labor used/required, style n size of house. you would need to find someone in that area to do research for you to find out costs. then once you have some costs figure in time its coing to take to build so the house will be ready in time unless you dont mind staying someplace else while you wait for it to be finished. I started saving now for a future retirement home there. I am figuring its going to be about $70000 (about 2.8 mil peso) because i want it built to US specs and style. as in 2-3 story house, full master suite, guest room, 2 car garage, full home ac, etc...
  13. A Short Reading From The Bible Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth". Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed! and a Merry Christmas to all
  14. ya names do tend to get passed around. the drawback is the name passing also usually also has comments attached to it. they will define how the "date" went, if you spent alot on them or were cheap, how you treated her, how good or bad in bed, and if you were a good tipper or not. then better you are the more it gets "passed around". most is verbal but some post comments on different chatsites and forums they are on. when i was living there working in a bar the stories the next day when the girls would come back to work from a bar fine were the usual topics of conversation.
  15. Job doesnt matter it is the respect of the other person. The only way i personally would have an issue would be if that job of just modeling turned into a physical sex type (but with you dont see that happening). I have in the past dated a cyber model from an online chat site. While we dated i was even advertising for the site she worked on and had my websites linked to her profile page for additional income prospects for her. We broke up after a 4 year relationship, and i still advertise those sites for the additional income. That part that does stress the relationship or atleast for me was when we would go out and guys would come up and ask if it was really her. then they would want pictures taken with her (which normally i got asked to take). She would always introduce me as her husband which usually stopped the guys from passing on phone numbers and asking her out (which was nice). So bottom line can be done, can last a long time, just need to be supportive and understanding on the guys part. On your part be reasuring that its only a job, that you do not to get your "jollies off f**king around", and that the relationship is a improtant to you and when times come where it does intermesh you will openly admit the relationship is there and strongly there. it is a reasurance to both parties hearing the firmness of it. When she would openly state even though we were not "THIS IS MY HUSBAND" it made me feel very at ease and that she was trying to make a firm point that "I'M OFF LIMITS GUYS", i would do the same when i ran into people that knew me also and was very proud to introduce her to them. (my friends would always be shocked such a hot woman was with me, they always expected me to find some like nerdy sci-fi type).
  16. If you or any other guys would like some Honest referals to chat sites where you can feel secure giving infor and wont be robbed ot frauded out send me a "pm". I several that follow strict security on thier pay servers.
  17. 1. retire and move to cebu with my wife 2. goto england and irland 3. build our dream house 4. have my business spread internationally and get well established so i can retire before i am to old to enjoy it 5. just before i die tell my wife how much i love her
  18. well that depends on the girl and the guys she is with. short time is just that. a short time with the girl in the back room basically. when i was there managing a bar for awhile we had 1 girl that could easily do 2-3 an hour. most of the guys were in for a "bj" break.
  19. ya would have been nice to laugh at the video but it is gone on a second note the supplements i advertise work or i wouldnt try selling them. my wife took them for 6 months and gained a whole cup size. that was almost a year ago and they have not decreased. she is contemplating taking it again now since she has started to wear a bikini finally and wants to fill it up more. She was originally a 32 a she is now a b cup. she wants to try and see if she can make it to a 34 b atleast. just a simple suggestion if you take the supplement she noticed a better "reaction/improvement" when she took them with milk. she did also have sore breasts for awhile as the started the growth but it subsided as she contimued the supplements. just a heads up on those 2 points
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