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Leon777

Advanced Member
  • Content Count

    83
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About Leon777

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 08/18/1961

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    F1, travel
  • Location
    Cape Town
  • Country
    South Africa
  1. Thanks for the info. I'd love to see a race in BKK.
  2. A traveling salesman's car breaks down on a deserted road, and he seeks refuge from the evening storm at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, being a kindly soul, says to the man that he can spend the night and they'll sort his car out in the morning. "There's only one small problem," says the farmer, "We don't have much room, so y'all will have to either sleep on the couch, or share the spare bedroom with Baby." Thoughts of middle-of-the-night crying, early-morning nappy changing and all those other unpleasant things that come with sharing a room with a strange baby spring to mind, so the salesman agrees to sleep on the couch. The next morning, he walks into the kitchen in the hopes of scoring some breakfast, and he sees this absolutely stunning, longlegs redhead, dressed in just a silk negligee, busy making coffee. She turns around when he walks in and coos: "Hi, I'm Baby, who are you?" He replies: "I'm the stupid @!*&@#$ who just spent the whole of last night alone on the couch!!"
  3. A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! All my love. P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
  4. An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors, green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
  5. A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and he is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort in her tummy, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli and cheese casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. She is afraid to excuse herself to go to the restroom, for fear that if she moves, a gigantic fart will escape while she is walking across the room. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. sThe father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Damn it, Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn it Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"
  6. If you dont see any posts in the next few weeks, it's because i'm in Guam!
  7. A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, "Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows it'll cost us a fortune to repair". Of course, she tee'd off and promptly shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed,"I warned you to watch out! Now we'll have to go up there and apologize and see how much that lousy drive is going to cost us." They walked up, knocked on the door, and a warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke the window?" "Uh yeah, we're sure sorry about that" the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem", said the genie, "You've got it, it's the least I can do." "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world" she said. "Consider it done." the genie said. "And now," the couple both asked in unison,"what's your wish, genie?" "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife." The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering all that, I guess I wouldn't mind." The genie and the woman went upstairs where he ravished her for the rest of the afternoon. Both satisfied each other repeatedly, and afterwards, the genie rolled over and looked at the wife and asked, "How old are you and your husband?" "Why, we're both 35" she responded breathlessly. "No shit! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
  8. A traveling salesman's car breaks down on a deserted road, and he seeks refuge from the evening storm at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, being a kindly soul, says to the man that he can spend the night and they'll sort his car out in the morning. "There's only one small problem," says the farmer, "We don't have much room, so y'all will have to either sleep on the couch, or share the spare bedroom with Baby." Thoughts of middle-of-the-night crying, early-morning nappy changing and all those other unpleasant things that come with sharing a room with a strange baby spring to mind, so the salesman agrees to sleep on the couch. The next morning, he walks into the kitchen in the hopes of scoring some breakfast, and he sees this absolutely stunning, longlegs redhead, dressed in just a silk negligee, busy making coffee. She turns around when he walks in and coos: "Hi, I'm Baby, who are you?" He replies: "I'm the stupid @!*&@#$ who just spent the whole of last night alone on the couch!!"
  9. A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! All my love. P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
  10. There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: * Hello? * Honey, It's me. * Sugar! * Are you at the club? * Yes, * Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it? * What's the price? * Only $1,500.00 * Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much... * Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year... * What price did he quote you? * Only $96,000... * OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. * Great! Before we hang up, something else... * What? * It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property... * How much are they asking? * Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover... * Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK? * OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!! * Bye... I do too... The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: * Does anyone know who this phone belongs to? <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">
  11. An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair all different colors, green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son." <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">
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